Please Sir, may I have some cold press?

I like to think of myself as a fancier of coffee. I can tell you the difference between a Full City, Vienna, and French Roast, or why you might like coffee beans from Africa instead of Indonesia. But I'm certainly not the oracle of all things coffee.

I was sad to discover on my last vacation, that Dunn Bros - my favorite coffee shop - doesn't seem to exist outside of Minnesota. I told myself that I could last two weeks without coffee; it would be a good time to go cold turkey. Two days into the trip, I found myself pulling into the first coffee chain I'd seen in about 800mi, Starbucks. I'm normally very brand loyal, but this was decision born out of desperation. I paused for a second inside the door. I could feel each individual pore on my body open to suck in the scent of coffee, while my ipod jingled in my pocket asking me why I hadn't checked my email.

I bounced up to the counter and ordered. Below is a transcription of what happened next...

Barista

What would you like today?

Me

Umm... Iced cold press with

vanilla and room.

Barista

(blank stare)

Me

(incredulous look)

Barista

What is that?

Me

You don't have cold press?

Barista

No, what is it? (looks to fellow

barista for help)

Me

Coffee grounds brewed in cold

water for 24 hours. It's more

smooth than brewed coffee.

Barista

I didn't know you could do that.

I looked around at this point and noticed the number of people behind the counter had grown from two to five. What I didn't know was this Starbucks was hosting a regional manager meeting.

Barista

(turns to the growing crowd of managers)

Do you know what a cold press is?

Manager #1

Nope.

Manager #2

(shakes head)

Manager #1

(turns towards me) What is

a cold press?

Me

(awkwardly) Coffee grounds brewed

in cold water for 24 hours. It's more

smooth than brewed coffee.

Managers nod and mumble in acknowledgement.

Manager #3 appears from the back and all the managers turn to him

and ask if he'd heard of cold press.

Manager #3

Oh yea, it's a new kind of french press that's

supposed to be really good in cold drinks.

Again, managers nod and mumble in acknowledgement.

By this time my coffee is ready. I grab it, top it off with cream, and head back to my car feeling slightly proud that I out coffee'd Starbucks.